Autumn Song

“Citta della Pieve is so peaceful. It’s a wonderful place for you to write,” my friend Julia –a Brit married to an Italian– told me as we sat together at our favorite cafe, Matucci’s, with cappuccini in hand, sharing, as always, inspiring conversation.

In those early days of living in our Italian house, a tangle of possibilities wrestled with each other in my head, arguing over which one would have priority in how I would spend my time in Italy, each idea fighting to be first in this exciting new life experience.

Dreamlike, I pictured myself sitting quietly at my little desk by the classic Italian stone window with those beautiful deep sills and shutters wide open, overlooking the narrow cobbled street far below, writing to my heart’s content. “That’s how I’ll fill my days,” I imagined…

And yet, despite our best plans and dreams, reality has an inevitable way of prioritizing tasks and activities for us, shaping our days, honing in on what we’re called to do. As it turned out, life in Italy has been characterized in large part with the almost-constant buzz of entertaining visitors, both American and Italian– but mostly American. Not that I mind it! For the most part, I love to entertain, and my husband absolutely shines when he is given the opportunity to act as a tour guide to places he knows well and loves.

In that first year in our Italian home, a total of 22 people stayed with us during the five months we were there, each for 2 weeks at a time. Above that, seven other friends stayed at our Italian house when we were back in Tennessee, and this coming year is looking like it will be the same.

Thankfully, I enjoy sharing our home with friends. It would be a terrible thing if I didn’t, because our very faith determines that we practice this art of hospitality as a significant part of our participation in the Kingdom of God (Acts 2:46; Romans 12:13; Hebrews 13:2). The New Testament church was characterized by their habit of spending much time together sharing food and fellowship (Acts 2:46), and even the biblical qualifications for leadership in the assembly emphasized the necessity of practicing hospitality (1 Tim.3:2; Titus 1:8).

Dan and I have come to know the beautiful surrounding hilltop cities well, after visiting them many times with our guests who were eager to discover the beauty of Umbria and Tuscany with us. We’ve taken guests to the truly stunning medieval hilltop cities of Cortona, Arezzo, Castiglione del Laga, Montepulciano, Assisi, Narni, Orvieto, Civita di Bagnoregio… and of course, also to the big cities of Rome and Florence.

We’ve wandered with our guests through many really fun European outdoor markets, gone to awesome Italian cafes, wineries, olive groves, and duomos. Some were fortunate enough to coincide their trip with one of the many festivals, like the absolutely breathtaking annual “Palio,”or medieval festival.

We’ve dined together with our guests in street settings or patios of a wide variety of Italian restaurants, each featuring their own homemade pasta dishes. We’ve arranged wonderful Italian cooking classes, wine tasting, tours of the underground tunnels below the cities, and relaxed during times of sitting together in conversation over aperitivi.

We’ve taken virtually everybody who’s visited us to church with us. And a large number of our visitors have come along with us to local parties or get-togethers with our Italian friends, where pizza is baked in authentic hand built stone outdoor pizza ovens. Sometimes appetizers and drinks have been enjoyed on a terrace overlooking the breathtaking Umbrian valley with a wonderful group of British expats.

For the most part, it’s been really fun. In the process, we’ve learned that there are basically two types of visitors. One kind –the true ‘tourist”– comes to Italy with a packed agenda, wanting to move from one famous site to the next, determined to see it all. They want to squeeze every duomo and every museum into their busy schedule and fill every minute of their time with sight seeing.

The second group is the other end of the spectrum–very relaxed. They want to experience the culture… savor the food, talk to the people, browse through the shops, wander the streets and back alleys, sit and “people-watch” in the cafes… They like to visit the olive orchards and wineries in preference to the Etruscan museums and historical sites.

Dan and I fall hard into the second category, which is why we bought a house in Italy. Although we’ve been thrilled to visit places like the colosseum, Pompeii, Ponte Vecchio, Piazza Novona, Trevi Fountain, and we’ve savored the beauty of Michelangelo’s ‘David,’ the Pieta, and the Sistine Chapel…we prefer to do it at a relaxed pace, leaving lots of time to interject wandering down interesting streets or stopping for gelato. And honestly, absolutely nothing beats spending a beautiful late summer evening with a group of Italian friends at a nearby Tuscan villa or Umbrian farmhouse, eating and drinking together, sharing animated conversation… or waking early to go for a walk and watch the sun rise over the foggy Umbrian landscape.

We’ve experienced both kinds of guests and both have found their time satisfying. It’s only become a problem when there is a mix of these visitors at the same time: one wants to fill every minute with museums and underground tours while the other bemoans the lost opportunity to shop. Consequently, we make it a habit to give our guests free time once we arrive at our destination, to do what they’re eager to do. Everyone is satisfied.

Guests certainly differ in character! Many who visit us find it difficult to grasp the fact that this is our home, not a vacation rental property that we’re all sharing. Others have been very considerate in understanding that we actually live here, and that I will be the one changing the sheets on all the beds after they leave.

Honestly, by far the most enjoyable guests we’ve hosted are those who are enthusiastic; who eagerly embrace and experience the Italian culture; who try, even awkwardly, to speak words in Italian to the shopkeepers; who are eager to try new foods and new experiences; who embrace the quirky differences from what they know at home, and respect the differences in culture. They’re genuinely fun and are a pleasure to entertain.

Dan and I will probably always be learning how having a house in Italy works, and we’ve had to make adjustments in our entertaining schedule. We quickly realized that we need to be intentional to schedule “alone” time for ourselves between guests– as well as when guests are with us– so we can invest in our own relationship, and in our relationships and friendships with our Italian friends, our church friends, those we spend time with in other parts of Italy, and with international friends in the sizable expat community.

We never want to lose sight of the fact that we’re here to be part of the Italian culture. But we also never want to lose sight of the fact that hospitality is a God-given calling… and for us, this means cheerfully introducing our American friends to the beauty of Italy by welcoming them into our Italian home. As for writing, I can always do that when I’m back in Tennessee.